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Last week I posted a picture on Instagram that I absolutely loved. It wasn’t about the setting of the picture. It wasn’t because the picture fit my aesthetic perfectly. Nor was it because of the likes I got. I loved this picture because it was one of the rare times I posted a picture and loved ME. All of me; large breasts, wide hips mom bags and all. 

As I said in my heartfelt caption becoming a new mom takes a toll on you. Not just physically but emotionally too. Not only are you given this new baby to love, but your given this new body to love too! And just like the new baby, it’s comes with no training or instructions. 

After posting that picture I had so many moms reach out to me via comments/ DM and tell me how they felt the same way! They say motherhood is different for each woman but I’m pretty sure we’re all experiencing quite a few of the same symptoms. And that’s why it is so important as moms to love ourselves inward and outwardly. You never know who could use your words of encouragement. 

Getting to a point of loving my body took time. It wasn’t something that happened overnight or with a few mood changes. It was more than the threads on my skin or color of my hair. It was about me feeling the beauty on the inside and letting it show on the outside. Here are some self affirmations I used to fall back in love with me: 

  • My skin is flawless
  • My curves are amazing
  • My triple D cups nourish my child
  • My hair is long and healthy
  • My body has the ability to create life
  • My body is healthy
  • My body is strong
  • My body is a warrior 
  • I am beautiful

Now I know some people are a bit skeptical about affirmations. Hi mom! But they are something I‘ve learned about since having Tate and I am loving them. It’s not a mantra or chanting, but hey maybe for you it is! I don’t shout them to myself in the mirror, but trust me I do give the mirror an occasional wink. I use my mantras more of a self- calming technique. Anytime I feel myself thinking negative thoughts (omg your butt it huge), I quickly change it to positive (hey, nice ass). Now I’m not saying lie to yourself, just flip it so you see the glass as half full and not half empty. 

It may not seem like much at first, and it may feel down right silly, but try it and see how you feel! It can’t be worse than believing the negative thoughts about yourself. So what are some affirmations you plan on starting today? Read through my nine above and drop me your tenth in the comments below!

Also check out my 4-part body image workbook and fall in love with your body all over again!

See ya! 

Aysia B. 
Let’s be honest, the girls work hard! Throughout the day they are pulled on, sucked on, slobbered on, grabbed, slapped, and just straight up used and abused. Then on top of all of that, they are expected to make enough milk to feed a small child! So let’s just give a quick moment of silence to all the milky boobs out there. 

Good, now that we’ve got that out the way let’s talk about showing these girls some love. When I first started breast feeding I remember feeling so empowered. I was amazed my body could literally create food that would nourish my baby. But laced in between the feeling of empowerment was a little bit of sadness. I remember feeling a sense of loss. It felt like my sexy was gone. In short my girls had become strictly for Tate and they no longer belonged to me.

Once I became aware of this feeling I quickly realized something needed to change. I’ve had these girls my whole life how dare Tate think he could just come in and separate us. That’s when I started ‘self-care for the ta-tas’. 

  • Dress ‘em up! Get rid of that nursing bra and push those girls up!! For one night a month at least. You deserve to feel the benefits of those milky jugs too. Yes they’re bigger so?! Use that to your advantage! Flaunt what you got mama! 

  • Pump ‘em down! Alright so I mentioned they’re bigger, and if your like me you have no idea how to dress those bad boys up now that they’re a size (or two) bigger. Before I go for my night out I make sure to get a good pump session in. This way the girls are emptier and then it’s easier to fit them in that good ol' push up. 

  • Scrub ‘em all around! Can we be honest for a minute? Yes, my boobs produce milk but do they have to smell like it too?! I feel as though since the moment I’ve had Tate the smell of milk was so prominent. I know my baby’s going to know the milk is there no matter what they smell like, so why not have an smell I like better. Body scrubs are my fav. I love to use scrubs not only for the smell, but also to keep my skin silky smooth.

I love feeding my baby boy, don’t mistake this post as me saying I don’t. But every now and then it’s important for me to remember my body (and boobs) are still mine. It has housed a beautiful baby, it provides him with the food he needs to survive and as if it’s not already doing enough, it houses me with all my beauty and flaws. So excuse me as I give this body some well deserved self-love. 

See ya!
Aysia B. 

p.s. Don't forget to join me today (8/2/18) as I takeover @blackmomsblog Instagram account.
Consult with Pediatrician before changing your baby's food regimen. Below is my personal experience and tips that worked for me and my baby alone. Use your discretion when following.

6 months in, and even though I wasn’t sure if I was ready, Tate sure was. 

If you remember a while back on my Instagram I talked about one of the biggest push backs I received in raising Tate this far was my decision to wait to start him on solid foods. Call it crazy, but I wanted my baby on strictly liquid gold for as long as possible. For me it was more about ensuring he received more than enough of the nutrients and hormones that breast milk had to offer. But I figured at 6 months, it was time.

Starting Tate on solids was one of the many turning points I’m sure I’ll have that’s a sure sign he’s getting older. I mean eating real food is a big deal! So when starting him on this journey I wanted to be sure he had all he needed to make it a successful start. 

How I knew he was Ready

For months my mom has been telling me Tate was ready for food. As much as I tried to deny it, by 6 months I could hide it no more, he was indeed ready. 

  1. He had become pretty much a full sitter with little support. 
  2. He easily doubled his birth weight (really by his 2 month appointment)
  3. He was DEFINITELY showing interest by grabbing and reaching for my plate all the time. 

With all these signs and a reluctant heart I knew it was time to start the journey toward solid foods. 

The myths

If he has solids he won’t want breastmilk. FALSE! I began starting my solid food journey with Tate, I was afraid solid foods would mean he would want absolutely nothing to do with the breast at all. In the beginning it was actually the opposite, he was so unsure about the table food that shortly after eating he’d want the breast. And now weeks later, I have noticed no change in his desire for breast milk. 

Every baby must have solids by 4 months. FALSE! Like I said above I went 6 months strong with just breast milk. Most breast- feeding clinics will encourage you to wait until about 6 months to give solids with regards to bonding, vitamins and nutritional values. 

Making my own baby food is so hard and I don’t have the time. FALSE! When making my registry I clearly remember joking with a friend I was not going to be “that” mother that makes her child’s food... look at me now girl! haha. Honestly making Tate’s food is the easiest task ever. It is cheaper and healthier, two wins in my book! 

In the beginning my baby might not like solids. TRUE! First feeding session with Tater Tot did not go as planned. I was so excited to whip out the food because I just knew my baby would be a hog. But boy was I wrong. He may have had 2 tiny bites in total. But each day he took a little more and a little more until eventually he was finishing the entire bowl (aka 1-2 teaspoons).

I have to introduce foods slowly. TRUE! In combination of reading my Baby Bullet instructions, speaking with my pediatrician and conducting my own research I found starting new foods on a 4 day rotation was best. More on this later.

My baby eating solids is a happy occasion and not a sad one. TRUE! I’m actually still debating if this is true or false hahaha. As I have said, starting solids was an emotional journey for me and one I did very reluctantly. But in creating my own food I was able to fulfill a different level of satisfaction and at the same time, watching Tate try out new foods is such a fun experience. 

Getting Started

As a new mom I had absolutely no clue where to start with the whole solid foods debacle. I had heard about rice cereal and oatmeal and soon discovered this was the easiest (and most traditional) place to start. My pediatrician recommended starting with oatmeal as opposed to the rice cereal because of the nutritional value and because rice sometimes causes constipation. In addition to the cereal/ oatmeal, I was unsure on which fruit or vegetable to serve first. As a rule of thumb foods such as bananas, apples, peas, sweet potatoes, etc are the easiest and least reactive foods to start with. With those directions I had my decision to start with oatmeal first and then bananas as my first fruit. But how exactly do I begin feeding him? 

In my research and reading the introductory book provided by Baby Bullet,  I learned that any new foods introduced to baby should be on a 4- days sequence. For example oatmeal Sunday, Bananas Thursday, Apples the following Monday and so on and so on. In addition to starting on a 4 days sequence, you should use your babies age (in months) and your own judgement to determine how many servings of food they should have a day. For example, I give Tate 2 servings of solids a day in between his normal breast feeding schedule. 

So, we had the food choices down, I knew how to start serving him and next was the preparation. Since I was making Tate’s food myself I had to know just what to do with all the fresh fruits and vegetables I recently purchased. Using his age and skill set helped determine how to prepare the food in terms of what the consistency of the food should be. For example, at the beginning of starting solids Tate was an assisted sitter which put him in the stage 1 category. This level basically means his food had to be very thin with no lumps or shape form. So I added 2-3 teaspoons of breastmilk to his oatmeal servings at night. Tate was not a huge fan of this. Thankfully, he shortly became an independent sitter which moved him to the stage 2 category and allowed him to receive a little less breastmilk in his food creating a little thicker consistency. As far as preparation goes, the different levels of consistency for the food basically means how many seconds you let your blender blend. In terms of storing and food prep, I make enough food for him to have 6 days of lunch (about 1 tbs each day, stored in the fridge) and then 6 additional days for the next week (also 1tbs but stored in the freezer). When he’s onto his last tablespoon of fresh fruit I move the tray out of the freezer to the fridge to dethaw out and then the entire tray is ready for the next week. Only takes a few hours or so to defrost! 

And finally it was time to start feeding! 

Feeding Tater Tot

As mentioned before, I decided to start with original oatmeal to begin. About an hr before bedtime I would give Tate the oatmeal (mostly at a stage 2 consistency aka slightly lumpy with less breastmilk). My hopes was to keep his belly full a little longer throughout the night. This in fact did not work in case you’re wondering. He’s still up every 2 hours haha. For 4 days I gave Tate just the oatmeal and breastmilk combo to see how he would do. He wasn’t a huge fan of just the plain oatmeal flavor so at about day 2 I started taking a half a (baby) spoonful of banana and mixing it with the oatmeal. After 4 days it was time to up it to 2 meals a day. 

I then started the fruits for lunch time. About an hour before his nap at 11am I would give him strictly the bananas. He loved this! At dinner time he would still receive the tablespoon of oatmeal with one spoonful of banana for taste. In about the next 2-3 weeks he received the oatmeal for dinner and the lunch time fruit (which rotated between apples and bananas for a while. Just a personal preference since I wanted to start off the new food introductions super slow). 

This journey of starting solids has been so fun! Just like so many other moments I’m sure I’ll have with Tate, it gave me a chance to experience the world through his eyes. It’s crazy to think someone just so helpless a short time ago now has choices and preferences in life. It’s truly amazing how fast they grow. And as much as I want him to slow down, I’m equally excited to see him grow and take this world by storm. 

p.s. I know this post was incredibly long but I hope it was informative. And if I missed anything or you have any other questions just shoot me a message! 

p.s.s. Click here to get a 6 page workbook to help you and your babe get started on your solid food journey!

See ya! 

Aysia B. 

“She’s never going to finish school now”

“How is she going to support herself and her child”

“I mean let’s be honest, she’s never going to make anything of herself now”

And these are just the statements heard.  Being a young mother can be a hard, judgmental, overwhelming journey.  One that many women have to embark on alone.  The reality is that some young mothers do indeed seldom complete their education and tend to have low paying jobs.  But with focus and determination anything can be accomplished. 

Let’s be honest, women are amazing.  Beyonce said it best: “Strong enough to bear the children, then get back to business”.  This woman right here is the epitome of that statement.  From the moment I met Kelsey she has never let being a young mother stop her from achieving any of her dreams or aspirations.  From being a student (masters), to a head coach (track), to now a business entrepreneur and throw the mother cap on top of that; this women literally does it all.  Starting a business is just her current way of breaking the young mother stereotype.  


Aysia: When did you become a mom?  What’s your labor story?

Kelsey: I became a mom 6 years., actually 5 and 3/4 years ago.  I actually had a pretty easy labor.  At about 2 am I started with contractions then at about 6am I decided it was probably time to go into the hospital. Little Mya came at 11am.  I went all natural except for the little something they put in my arm to calm me down. Besides that, it was honestly really simple and flawless.  At that moment my life was changed.  It caused me to change some of the things I was doing and forced me to be a better Christian.  I even recently got baptized. So yea, little extra than my labor story there haha.

Aysia: No,no! I love it.  That’s why I always start off with that question, I feel like people are more likely to open up for the other questions because let’s be honest, who doesn't love talking about their birth? So, you had Mya as a junior in college.  You were an athlete and a student at the time. How did you make it through school being pregnant and a new mom?

Kelsey: Man, that was so hard.  First, being pregnant during school was hard.  Especially because I was a track athlete.  I had trained super hard for our season in November.  I expected come January, to have the best season I ever had.  And then, I got pregnant right before my season actually started.  So I wasn’t able to compete, I didn't spend as much time with my teammates, there were a lot of rumors going around and on top of that, I hadn't even told my family yet.  So for the first like 4/5 months of my pregnancy, I was really lonely. Then I had Mya September 2nd.  I took one week off but that was the first week of school.  So by the time she was 2 weeks I was back in school full time. I was pumping at school, I was emotional and I wasn’t even fully healed.  I was legit walking around school with tucks in my underwear. At the same time it was so hard to be away from my new baby. 

Aysia: Man that was a battle early on!  Speaking of battles, how did you battle with finding the time and energy to get through school while having a newborn?

Kelsey: Whew! Honestly, I didn't have the time ha ha but I just kept my eye on the prize as they say; to graduate.  Not graduating was NOT an option. And shortly after having Mya I was back to training.  There wasn’t really a moment that I could rest and take the break.  So I just kept pushing.  But I had a job to do for my daughter.  As I said before I changed my life when she was born.  I wanted to lead by example. Graduating from college was just one of those examples I wanted to set. To this day I’ve had people say about “well you missed out on so much”, but honestly she was so young I don't think I missed out on anything.  Continuing school was one of the best decisions I could have made for me and my daughter.  And now I have my masters degree and I’m just chillen! Haha working, reaching my goals and now spending so much time with Mya. 

Aysia: I know that’s right! Masters!! So now that your babes a little older, how do you juggle her activities and yours all week and manage everything?

Kelsey: I have 3 calendars that is color coordinated.  I plan my days by weeks. So I look at the big calendar and see everything on it and then I try to make sure at least 3 days/ evenings that we have nothing going on.  Because I don't want to get to wrapped up on activities that we miss quality time with each other. She does gymnastics, swimming lessons and all these random things.  And so do I! But 3 days a week is a hard stop.  It makes the week doable to have those bonding times scheduled in.  Just me and her, and sometimes her dad. 

Aysia: I think I’m going to definitely have to get the calendars rolling.  You know kids and their sports.  And I cannot wait to get that started. On top of all you guys’s current activities, tell me about the business you're starting.  

Kelsey: So I never thought I’d be a teacher which is my profession now.  I got my undergrad in kinesiology.  I thought I was going to be some sort of athletic trainer or something in sports medicine.  But this opportunity to get my masters in developmental phys-ed came up.  It was an amazing opportunity because it got me prepared for this next step.  I’m starting a fitness center for adults with disabilities.  This has been something on my heart since I was 18 years old.  It’s amazing how God reveals parts of the plan when your ready. In the summer time I rode on the buses with individuals that received rides to different locations and activities until they were 21 and I remember asking the driver what do they do when they become 21? And the bus driver said they either go to a group home or they stay at home. And that just didn't work for me.  Being that fitness is my passion I got so inquisitive on what they do to stay active! And learned they honestly they didn't do much. And just by asking that simple question, God revealed part of my plan and purpose. 

Aysia: Why individuals with special needs?

Kelsey: It’s a very special group of people.  And God placed this love on my heart for individuals with special needs.  I truly think this is my purpose.  God made me for this.  I want to be able to contribute to His kingdom and I feel like adults with special needs are highly neglected.  Everybody in the world has a place; homosexuals, blacks, whites.  And I just want to create a space FOR THEM that screams, we love you and we genuinely care about you. 

Aysia: What is your long time goal with this business?

Kelsey: My long term goal is to ultimately have locations all over the world similar to an LA Fitness or Lifetime.  Now world is stretching it, haha, which set your goals high right?! But mostly in multiple states.  Because these individuals ALL need this space.  

Aysia: What advice would you give to young mothers who need the push to keep going and to follow their dreams?

Think of your kids and set an example. One day I’m going to be able to talk to my daughter and tell her all the sacrifices I made. We’re going to be sitting in our house and I’m going to be able to say, you being a good daughter and being flexible with other people allowed mommy to pursue her dreams.  WE made this happen.They may not notice the sacrifices now, but when they get older they’ll know.  They’ll understand.  I can’t wait to say to my daughter mommy did this, all by herself.  (Now yes, I have an amazing support system but I did most of it).  I don't want to tell her to pursue her own dreams while I didn’t do it myself. I want to be able to have examples and show the sacrifices.  When you keep your kids as the focus, it gets easier.  And keeping God number one of course! His guidance goes above things you can ever imagine.  

Also, use your support systems! I know as a mom one of the hardest things is to leave your child.  But, I had to leave my baby sometimes.  In that time she got to know her family.  As they say, it takes a village to raise a family.  And with the help of my village and her dad’s village she got to build relationships and experience things that are irreplaceable.  It’s just another sacrifice you make.  And at the end of it your going to look back and see all the statistics you beat because you made a few sacrifices and just grinded.  

Aysia: That was amazing advice.  Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story! I know so many people benefited from it.  As always, ending it light what's the funniest thing Mya has ever done? 

Kelsey: Well she's funny all the time so I can't pick just one.  But I'll pick one that you know too! She started a new school and she's in the city now so she's exposed to a lot more hip hop.  She came in one night with her du-rag on and started that song "I just want a rolly rolly rolly with a dab of ranch" and she had her du-rag on. It was hilarious.

Aysia: Honestly, that was the funniest thing she's ever done for me too.  Too funny! 


See ya later!
Aysia B. 
I don’t care what anyone says, parenting is just one of those things you can never really prepare for. You can diligently plan, read all the books and attend all the classes but you are never fully ready for all it entails until you actually become a parent. 

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