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BTG Feature Friday: Alexus Dover



“You are enough”. A quote I’ve seen so many mamas post and refer to. When your baby has cried all day, don’t worry you are enough. When the laundry is piling up, your still enough. And when you accidentally switch Daddy’s lunch with the kids don’t worry even then your enough.  This phrase is definitely one for women everywhere. And today’s #BTGFF Alexus Dover uses this phrase to be the driving force for her non-profit and her everyday life. Alexus is a student, mother to a busy 1 year old and an entrepreneur. Here is the second #BTGFeatureFriday
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Aysia: Heyyyy Lex! Thanks for being the second feature on #BBFeatureFriday.  Let’s start.  When did you become a mom? 

Alexus: Heyy girl thanks for featuring me!  I became a mom when I was 22 years old turning 23.  

Aysia: Love the labor stories so, short blurb about yours.

Alexus: Um, I had the Braxton Hicks contractions for 2 days.  Went to hospital twice.  First time was only 1 cm went back home.  Second time they told me come back when I was 5 cm dilated at that time I was only 2-3 cm.  Walked around the hospital as the contractions got worse and worse.  Finally was at 5c, and got admitted.  Got the epidural and felt NOTHING.  I wasn’t even sure how hard I was pushing or when to push.  6 min later, Knowledge was here! 

Aysia: Man 6 hrs! Nice and sweet. Straight to the point.  My son was of course late like me haha.  So now, how do you feel being a mom has changed you?

Alexus: It gives me purpose and navigates everything I do.  Any decision I make now I always think about how it affects my son. 

Aysia: First thought on my mind all the time too. For you, what’s the best part of being a mom?

Alexus: This is going to sound bad but the fact that he’s always going to need me haha.  For example, breast feeding.  Like he needed me for that, I just loved that feeling.  But also, just he’s always the prize at the end of the day.  No matter what kind of day I’m having I know I’m going to go home and be with him at the end of the day.  

Aysia: Isn’t that just the sweetest?! No matter what they’re right there waiting with a smile on their face.  Honestly, the best ever.  Alright wonder woman; your a working mother, in school and raising a 1 year old. How do you keep from getting overwhelmed?

Alexus: At first I didn't.  I was getting very overwhelmed. I wasn’t sure how to juggle mommy-hood, friends, school, and just life.  I realized it’s all about managing your time.  Becoming a mom you realize your time is precious and to be picky about what you give your time to.  And keep your tank full.  I realized I can't give to K unless I have somewhere to give from.  

Aysia: It’s so true! Your time just becomes that much more precious when they’re around.  You really realize alright I can't waste it one bit.  What’s one thing you’d like to share with new moms that you wish you knew starting out?

Alexus: Just like you said, don’t be afraid to ask for help.  I felt I had to do it all and the need to do it all because your mom.  But you have to ask for help to avoid burnout.  And more importantly its OKAY to ask for the help.

Aysia: That help! It’s honestly the biggest thing I struggle with in mother-hood.  So switching hates, tell me a little about your non profit.
Alexus: So, Enough iAm is an organization I started that promotes healing to young ladies ages 12-19. Healing from any trauma like emotionally, mentally, sexually is discussed.  In the organization we have different programs with different categories.  For example, one is geared toward self esteem, another towards mental health, and another to education. The purpose of the non profit is to show these ladies that despite what you went through you, you have support. For example, if it wasn’t for my support system from my guidance counselor and WHO ELSE? I would not have believed I was good enough to get into the college I am in.  I want them to know, YOU ARE ENOUGH AND CAN DO WHATEVER YOU SET YOUR MIND TO. 

Aysia: That is beautiful.  And honestly so important for young girls in that age group to understand, especially the victims of abuse.  What encouraged you to start this specific non profit?

Alexus: Well for me, it was my personal experience with sexual abuse and mental abuse when I was younger.  I was assaulted by my step father at a young age.  At that time I felt so lost and  my self worth was diminished.  But I overcame that mindset and situation with the support system around me.  It motivated me to create that support system for other women so they can recognize that they’re in the situation and then identify ways to get out. I want them to realize their value and understand they don't have to settle. 

Aysia: That’s amazing.  So empowering! So far what have you done towards you non-profit?

Alexus: On Tuesday nights I currently run a 8 week workshop/ program at my church WHAT CHURCH. The first four weeks of the program we work on self-esteem.  During the second 4 weeks we touch on mental awareness and begin to discover the difference between mental illness and mental health.  We also ways to identify stress and solutions on how to cope with it. I’ve also held a vision board party where we did activities all geared towards self-worth and identifying the best versions of you.  

Aysia: That is good!  Definitely getting it up and running. So whats up next for you and the non- profit?

Alexus: Well I graduate in May with my degree in Health Services (YAY!).  I applied for a state job with social work (fingers crossed I get it!) and then as far as EiA I am currently working on getting programs incorporated into different schools throughout Delaware. 

Aysia: Yay graduation!! Good luck in all of those things girl. Okay, lightening the mood back up, funniest thing Knowledge has ever done?

Alexus: OMG he does so much haha.  But the funniest thing is when he was first learning how to feed himself.  It was like he didn’t realize his hands worked.  He would eat his food like a dog.  For example, we started with cheese balls and he would put the cheese ball on whatever surface he was eating on and then bend over it and pick it up with his mouth as if he didn't understand he could just use his own hands to feed himself.  It was the funniest thing ever!

Aysia: That is hilarious!  I love hearing how different kids go through different developmental stages haha. I can’t wait to see Tate’s.  Well thanks for letting me interview you girl and for sharing your story!

Alexus: No problem, thanks for having me! 

p.s. Follow all that’s in the works with Enough iAM on Instagram! 

Stay tuned for next month’s #BTGFF where I do a Mother’s Day special ! 

See ya!

Aysia B. 

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